I feel like a bad mom right now. I don't know how other moms handle night wakings with their kids and then just go about their business the next day like everything is normal. How come I can't handle it? I am seriously an emotional wreck.
I don't know if I am lucky or if it is normal or what.... but as I have said a billion times, Greyson has always been an amazing sleeper, sleeping at least 12 straight hours at night, and never waking up at all at night unless we were on vacation (which has always been hard for me to handle). So since he was 3 and a half months old I have very rarely ever had to check on him at night. It is what I am accustomed to, so anything other than that totally THROWS ME OFF and I don't act like myself. Seriously, how do other moms do it? How are you guys so patient? I feel so inadequate right now.
Well, the first few weeks he was doing great in his big boy bed. I would hear him wake up early occasionally (like at 5:30 or 6:00!), but he would stay in his bed and not get out until the light turned green on his clock.
Well, Monday night, two nights ago, we started having problems. He would get frantic as we would leave his room to tell him goodnight saying that there are ghosts outside and that he sees ghosts at night. I want him to feel safe and secure and not be scared, but I think there is a fine line between reinforcing his behavior by giving him attention, and comforting him until he goes to sleep. I don't know what to do!
He woke up twice two nights in a row. I have talked to a few moms and they act like their toddlers wake up twice every night too. Is this normal? Why doesn't anyone talk about it? I asked my friend that and she said because it isn't a big deal. Why am I abnormal then that I can't handle something as simple as my toddler waking up twice because he is scared?!? Why can't I just have a normal day the day after if he does this? I seriously feel like a crazy person right now.
Solutions?!? I don't know. What I have been doing is standing at the door until he falls asleep again, but inevitably, as soon as he notices I am not standing there he freaks out until I come back in and stand by the door. I am delirious right now. My friend had a suggestion and I think I might do this. I can give Greyson the choice of Alex (temporarily) sleeping in his twin bed and Greyson going back in the crib, or Grey can stay in his twin bed that he loves so much as long as he quits calling out at night. I feel bad though because I don't want him to feel scared and feel like he can't get any comfort from me if he truly is terrified, but I can't last another night standing by his door off and on for an hour! What do I do?!? Alex has been wanting to bring him in the bed with us, which I don't really want to do, but last night I was desperate and gave it a try, but Greyson has never spent a night in the bed with us, so it is so foreign to him and he can't sleep. He laid their quietly, but was wide awake, and eventually Alex just brought him back to his own bed.
I think what scared him to begin with was his clock that he started out loving. He has never had a nightlight in his room so having that glowing clock casts shadows on his wall which I think are the "ghosts" he is seeing. I have tried explaining to him the shadows are not ghosts and making them a fun game, but it didn't matter last night. Also, he was religious about staying in his bed until the clock turned green, but since the clock was scaring him I got rid of it last night, so he didn't know when it was okay to come out of his room, so he came out both times when he woke up.
Why is my child's sleep such a big influence on my life and mood when it doesn't seem to affect others! I just don't get it and I feel very alone and hopeless right now. Thank goodness Addy is doing great at night because I would really lose it if she were up too. I am pretty sure this post made no sense and has 900 grammatical errors because I am so tired. I should have used this time while both kids are napping to sleep but I just had to put my thoughts out there. I can handle almost anything as long as I feel well-rested, but everything is just so hard for me when I am tired. Off to try and get some sleep.
I don't know if I am lucky or if it is normal or what.... but as I have said a billion times, Greyson has always been an amazing sleeper, sleeping at least 12 straight hours at night, and never waking up at all at night unless we were on vacation (which has always been hard for me to handle). So since he was 3 and a half months old I have very rarely ever had to check on him at night. It is what I am accustomed to, so anything other than that totally THROWS ME OFF and I don't act like myself. Seriously, how do other moms do it? How are you guys so patient? I feel so inadequate right now.
Well, the first few weeks he was doing great in his big boy bed. I would hear him wake up early occasionally (like at 5:30 or 6:00!), but he would stay in his bed and not get out until the light turned green on his clock.
Well, Monday night, two nights ago, we started having problems. He would get frantic as we would leave his room to tell him goodnight saying that there are ghosts outside and that he sees ghosts at night. I want him to feel safe and secure and not be scared, but I think there is a fine line between reinforcing his behavior by giving him attention, and comforting him until he goes to sleep. I don't know what to do!
He woke up twice two nights in a row. I have talked to a few moms and they act like their toddlers wake up twice every night too. Is this normal? Why doesn't anyone talk about it? I asked my friend that and she said because it isn't a big deal. Why am I abnormal then that I can't handle something as simple as my toddler waking up twice because he is scared?!? Why can't I just have a normal day the day after if he does this? I seriously feel like a crazy person right now.
Solutions?!? I don't know. What I have been doing is standing at the door until he falls asleep again, but inevitably, as soon as he notices I am not standing there he freaks out until I come back in and stand by the door. I am delirious right now. My friend had a suggestion and I think I might do this. I can give Greyson the choice of Alex (temporarily) sleeping in his twin bed and Greyson going back in the crib, or Grey can stay in his twin bed that he loves so much as long as he quits calling out at night. I feel bad though because I don't want him to feel scared and feel like he can't get any comfort from me if he truly is terrified, but I can't last another night standing by his door off and on for an hour! What do I do?!? Alex has been wanting to bring him in the bed with us, which I don't really want to do, but last night I was desperate and gave it a try, but Greyson has never spent a night in the bed with us, so it is so foreign to him and he can't sleep. He laid their quietly, but was wide awake, and eventually Alex just brought him back to his own bed.
I think what scared him to begin with was his clock that he started out loving. He has never had a nightlight in his room so having that glowing clock casts shadows on his wall which I think are the "ghosts" he is seeing. I have tried explaining to him the shadows are not ghosts and making them a fun game, but it didn't matter last night. Also, he was religious about staying in his bed until the clock turned green, but since the clock was scaring him I got rid of it last night, so he didn't know when it was okay to come out of his room, so he came out both times when he woke up.
Why is my child's sleep such a big influence on my life and mood when it doesn't seem to affect others! I just don't get it and I feel very alone and hopeless right now. Thank goodness Addy is doing great at night because I would really lose it if she were up too. I am pretty sure this post made no sense and has 900 grammatical errors because I am so tired. I should have used this time while both kids are napping to sleep but I just had to put my thoughts out there. I can handle almost anything as long as I feel well-rested, but everything is just so hard for me when I am tired. Off to try and get some sleep.
January 12, 2012 1:14 AM
Hi Heidi, I just wanted to tell you...I think it's nuts when people are ok with their kids waking up a bunch of times at night! (sorry future posters who think I'm a snob) But I religiously followed the baby whisperer who is VERY good at giving sleep advice that works, and it sounds like Austin is a lot like you describe Greyson, a good sleeper. Anyway, the good news is, waking up is not normal for Greyson, so it will just take some guidance to get him back on track. You are just retraining him in a new bed. We are not at the point you are at, so I can't give you tried and true advice, but I always think of the quote "start as you mean to go on". Develop a plan that doesn't lead to bad habits for him or you (I would have a hard time standing at the door too!) and stick with it! Don't worry, I bet this phase won't last very long!
January 12, 2012 2:02 PM
I think the secret is coffee. Lyla had night terrors for almost two weeks, which had me up for almost an hour once or twice a night. And she won't calm for mike, has to be me... and she didn't sleep through the night until 9 months old. Maybe its just that you get used to running on less sleep, and its harder because for you its less frequent so your body hasn't adjusted to the lack of sleep :)
Suggestion:
We have one of these put away for Lyla (haven't needed it yet), its called a defender of dreamtime. it really might work if its the shadows that Greyson is scared of. Basically, you put the little lights in the scary parts of the room, and if he wakes up he can use the stuffed animal to turn on the crystals in the other parts of the room to make the shadows disappear. One of mike's co-workers used it and said it worked really well:
http://www.amazon.com/Night-Guardians-Defenders-Dreamtime-Thayer/dp/B002DVL53K
good luck!
January 12, 2012 6:55 PM
Do you have space in your bedroom to put his twin bed in there until he feels more comfortable? That's how we transitioned all our boys: from our bed, to a mattress on the floor, and then to their own room. They never had any problems. However, I think it's totally normal for anyone to wake up at times: bad dream, need to use the bathroom, sick, etc. As long as it's not every night, it doesn't seem abnormal. It also seems normal for him to want to be comforted by you when he's scared.
Sorry you're having such a hard time. Does he stay awake after he wakes or can you not fall back to sleep? Sleep deprivation is rough. I hope it's better now! Good luck, I wish you sleep! And a big hug for Greyson!
January 13, 2012 10:54 AM
Heidi, Ben has NEVER, I repeat NEVER been a good sleeper. He is 1 year old now, and still waking up 2-3 times/night. While I have gotten semi-used to it, I still have some nights and days (like last night) where I feel like I'm going to lose my mind. It sucks. Plain and simple. You are definitely not the only one. Sleep is very important, and when you're not getting what you're used to it will wear you down. I'm sorry! I wish I had some advice for you, but since Ben is obviously allergic to sleeping, I can't give you any :) Hang in there... it'll get better. And... coffee is my new best friend :)